


Ten Things

by Morgana



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-01
Updated: 2010-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-06 02:39:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana/pseuds/Morgana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Giles has some questions for the vampires that lead to him learning more than he really wanted to know</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ten Things

To: All Ranking High Council members  
From: Rupert Giles, Head of the New Watcher's Council  
Re: Aurelian Documentation

HIGH SECURITY!!!

Enclosed you will find the results of our recent inquiries about some of the more peculiar traits of the Aurelian line. These three letters and their corresponding documents are the result of much painstaking labor, and I would like to commend Miss Willow Rosenberg both for her initial suggestion and aid in deciding on a course of action to obtain the desired information.

Based on the observations contained here, I think we can all agree that the Aurelian line is indeed unique among vampires. While they are no less deadly than any of their kind, they uniformly display the rare ability to care for each other in both souled and unsouled states. They protect each other even from themselves, as Angel's responses clearly show, and Miss Summers' statements are clear evidence that they can and do accept non-vampires as family if they so choose.

It is my suggestion, based upon these findings, that any dealings with the Aurelian vampires, particularly Spike and/or Angel, should take into account the peculiarities of their line, while still maintaining the usual cautionary procedures for non-human interactions. I would also like to see proposals for future studies on the Aurelian and/or any other known vampire lines, with possible vampires to be interviewed (excluding Drusilla, per previous memos), as well as ideas for implementation and a list of volunteers.

Rupert Giles

 

Dear ~~Wanker~~ Watcher,

I just want you to know that I think you suck. Couldn't be bothered to help us out when we needed it, but now that everything's finished and the world's still here, you want our help for your records? Fuck that! But Angel says we need to be gracious, and I'm willing to go along and not just because he sucked my brains out through my cock last night to make sure I would. Maybe we can teach you the meaning of the word- God knows someone needs to. And what the hell is up with wanting to know about stuff I've done to Angel while he was sleeping? Sounds like something Andrew would come up with so he could giggle with the bints about. Are you joining their little fangirl club, Rupert?

Anyway, here it is. You don't deserve it, but I was honest and wrote down the real stuff, cause I'm not a complete bastard like you and yours are. Take it and leave us alone for another couple of years, would you? We'll see how you like handling the next apocalypse all on your own.

Fuck off,  
Spike

PS - Tell ~~Buffy~~ ~~Red~~ the others hi for me.

Ten Things I Did to Angel While He Was Sleeping  
(In no order whatsoever because I know how you blokes love cataloguing things)

1\. I drew a mustache on his griffin with a Sharpie. He'd been a dick that day, just cause some visiting demons referred to him as the 'last true Aurelian master'. Spent the rest of the night strutting about, like Angelus used to when he was lording it over all of us. Always hated that and I do my best to bring him down a notch or two when he gets too overbearing. That was two months ago, and I don't think he's figured it out yet, cause it's still there.

2\. I sing to him, and if that ever gets back to him, I'll spread your eyeballs on toast and eat them. He has nightmares sometimes, don't know what he dreams about, whether it's Hell or something else, but he tosses around something fierce and cries out. I can't stand to see him hurt like that and he won't let me touch him when he's in the grip of one of those. So I kneel down by the bed and sing some of those old Irish songs he likes so much to calm him down.

3\. I drank from him, and doing that without waking him up wasn't easy, let me tell you. He'd been back for about three weeks, plenty of time for him to cause all sorts of mayhem, but he wasn't interested in anything but the Slayer and Drusilla. Couldn't be bothered to help me out, and that really hurt. I could've been back on my feet in a month, but he only noticed me when he needed someone to pick on. So I found a time that Dru was off having one of her tea parties with Miss Edith and I helped myself to a couple of pints. Waited for him to sink into a real deep sleep, then slid my fangs into one of his wrists. Ponce never woke up and I got to heal a little faster than I would've otherwise. Still wish I hadn't had to go to all that trouble for it, though.

4\. I went down on him to see if I could make him cum without waking him up. I could, but just barely. Turns out there's a special art to sucking a sleeping vampire off. You gotta go real slow, draw it out with lots of licks and little sucks, nothing too intense or fast if you don't want him to wake up. Took my own sweet time about it, really lavished attention just on his cock, and he must've thought it was one hell of an erotic dream. He started moaning and then fucking my mouth with these real slow strokes that just dragged it all out. Cumming woke him up, or maybe it was just after that... I was too busy swallowing him down to tell. But when he pulled me up, I saw his smile, goofy and silly like he gets after he cums, and I only had time to give him a quick kiss before he flipped me over and fucked me until I screamed.

5\. I stayed up and whispered poems to him- my poems- when we made love for the first time. He's the one who started me writing again, you know. Told me he liked my poetry and though I blew it off, it really meant a lot. Only Mother ever voiced any approval of my work, but then all mothers believe their children are wonderful, so she was hardly an impartial judge. And it wasn't the first time that I'd gone to his bed, not by a long shot. But there was one night that it was just... different. We'd stopped Illyria's power from blowing her up and Angel took a stake for me. Can you believe that? Still don't know how he knew, but he did. That night, we really connected, really made love, like I always wanted to. Heard people go on and on for ages about souls touching as well as bodies, but I never knew what it was like until then. And when he fell asleep, I just stayed up, looking at him until the words came.

6\. I fed him some of my blood right after I became solid again. Reckon he's told you all about our fight over the fake cup to see who got the brass ring. Starting to think that prophecy's fake, too, since that was an apocalypse and a half ago and we're both still vampires. No problem for me, but I can tell he thinks about it sometimes. Anyway, we tried out best to batter each other to a second death and after it was over, he went back to his penthouse and his friends who worried about him, and... I didn't have anywhere to go, all right? Is that what you want to hear? Me being alive again would've just complicated things for Buffy and the rest of you lot only tolerated me because she wanted me there. I was stuck with nowhere to go and nobody left and I just wanted to feel like family again. So I picked the lock to his apartment and went in. Didn't take much to get him to drink, just the scent and when I put my wrist to his mouth he latched on hard. Guess he missed it as much as I did.

7\. I stole all his clothes, opened the drapes and locked him in the bedroom once. I think it was probably my most serious attempt on his life, and if Darla hadn't decided to wake up early and go looking for her 'precious boy' so they could have a nooner, it would've worked. She found him before the sun got him, although from what Dru said it was close. Anyway, it didn't take them long to figure out that it was me. Bastards hung me in the basement for two weeks and did everything short of dusting me before they were done. And you probably want to know why I tried to kill him, right? Well, keep wondering, cause I'm not telling.

8\. This one I'm really proud of- I brought him off without laying a finger on him. Don't know why I did it, unless it was just that I never had before, but I woke up horny as hell one night, hard and wanting him, but he'd been up for three days working on a demon problem that we'd taken care of earlier and I figured he could use the rest. So I started jerking off and talking about what I wanted to do to him. Painted a right filthy picture, too- no euphemisms, just straight-up, fuck-me-now cock talk. Started it more for my own benefit but then I noticed him getting hard and shifting around, so I slowed down and really went into detail with the fantasy. He was moaning and humping up against the sheet and Christ, wasn't that fucking hot! But the best part was when he came. His eyes opened and the look in them was cute and needy and loving and I couldn't hold back any longer. Shot cum all over him, but he didn't say anything, just grabbed me. And then damn if I didn't get to make my fantasy come true!

9\. I took his picture with my camera phone the night he gave it to me. It was about two months after everything went to hell and back, and the first time we were healed up enough to do more than just play around. Think we spent at least three hours fucking and when it was over we were a happy, exhausted mess. Angel didn't run off to the shower like I thought he would, just pulled me in for a kiss and went to sleep, sticky and everything. And let me tell you, the man's even more gorgeous when he's covered in cum than he usually is, so I did the only thing I could and captured the moment... purely for posterity's sake, of course. Started thinking that hanging onto it might be selfish, though, so that's why I put it up on MySpace.

10\. I told him I loved him. Nothing new, really, tell him all the time now. He likes to hear it, and always says it right back, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that it wasn't always so. You can't ever tell him this, Rupert, but I fell in love with him the moment I saw him. He was magnificent, tall and broad, with hair that fell around his face like a lion's mane, and right away, I wanted him. No, more than wanted him. He was my world, simple as that. Dru was my dark goddess of the night, the one who had brought me to my destiny, but Angelus was everything else, and I flat out adored him. Never managed to tell him before the soul, though. He laughed at me for going on about Dru, and I just knew it would be a thousand times worse if he found out how I felt about him. So I'd wait until he'd fallen asleep and whisper it in his ear. It wasn't until we found our way back to each other that I learned he'd never really been asleep, but I'm counting it anyways.

 

Dear Giles,

I'm not sure why you wanted us to give you these lists. They seem like pretty strange things for the Watcher's Council to keep in its records, and to be honest, I'm not all that comfortable with the thought of other people studying us like this. It strikes me as being a little too close to the Initiative for comfort, and I think Spike feels that a lot more than I do. You've asked some pretty intimate questions, things that most vampires don't ever reveal outside the family circle, and while I'll help for the new Council's sake, I hope you'll be careful who you show these too.

You asked me about ten times that I've lied about Spike. It was hard to narrow the list down, because I've told a lot more than just these ten. I ended up writing down the ones I regret the most, the largest untruths that were so blatantly false that some of them make me cringe even now. It's been a struggle, especially forcing myself to face up to the fact that I've said these ugly things, and I suppose I should add that I'm grateful for the opportunity, but I'm really not. I know I've treated Spike abominably (although he's enough to try the patience of a saint sometimes) and seeing the evidence of it in my own words just adds to the burden of that guilt.

I'd appreciate it if this was our last contact for a while. Your questions brought back some pretty bad memories, and from the way Spike's been acting the past few nights, I'd say that it wasn't all on my part. If you need anything, please let Dawn know and I'm sure she'll pass the request on, but I'd really prefer not to deal with you directly for a time.

Sincerely,  
Angel

Ten Lies I've Told About Spike  
(In Chronological Order From His Turning)

1\. When Darla asked me what I thought of our newest family member, I said he was nothing special. I think part of me knew even then how extraordinary he was. He obviously adored Drusilla and practically worshipped me, always begging to go along when I went hunting or sitting for hours at her feet while she babbled about the moon and stars. There was so much about him that was different, like turning into a vampire hadn't really changed who he was. He had a sweetness to him, almost an innocence that practically screamed out to me. Unfortunately, he didn't stay that way for long.

2\. I told the women that he had no skills in the bedroom. Actually, I said he was beyond hopeless in his fumblings and that I had to think of other people just to get aroused. How they ever accepted such a blatant lie is beyond me. He wasn't the badass little punk then, but William was still an inveterate sensualist. He's always been that way, enthralled with the texture of clothes and the taste of food, and sex was no different. It was like he was trying to make up for his deprivation in life- he'd spend hours on his knees sucking my dick. I think he brought me off four times in a row once before I couldn't take it anymore and threw him down on the bed. But when the women asked me if he was any good, I lied. It gave me an excuse to spend more time "teaching" him, you see. But in truth, he taught me more than I ever could him.

3\. I told Drusilla he was a waste of the blood she'd given him. Well, screamed it at her, really. He didn't fit my idea of what a vampire should be, you see. I wanted him to be like me, to glory in the pain and hopelessness that I caused, like Penn and Drusilla had, but he always turned away from it. He loved books and music and Christmas, and who'd ever heard of a vampire that liked Christmas? There was a part of himself that he tucked away from the blood and the slaughter and the sex, and it enraged me. I wanted all of him, wanted him completely subject to me, dependent on me in every way like the others had been. But he held that back, and it didn't matter whether I tried beating or fucking it out of him. I didn't understand that, and I didn't always understand him. So I said he wasn't a vampire, or at least not one of any worth. That way I didn't have to admit that he was a better man than me.

4\. Spike doesn't know about this, but after I left them in China I was approached by the head of the Dracula line and asked if I would give up my claim on him so they could have him. I took credit for his slayer kill and said they were welcome to him if they didn't mind a lying weakling. If they'd still wanted him after that, I don't know what I would've done. I just couldn't let him go like that- he was mine, despite the soul. But they believed me, and told the rest of the demon world that he lied about the Chinese slayer. It took killing the one in New York for them to believe him and give him the respect that he'd been due all along.

5\. For almost a hundred years, I told myself that I didn't miss him. I tried to convince myself that he was nothing but pure evil, that I should've dusted him and all the rest of them when I had the chance. But I couldn't hold the truth back forever, not when my dreams echoed with Darla's laughter and Drusilla's songs. And Spike. For fifteen years his voice had been the last thing I'd heard before I went to sleep, whispering that he loved me. It was the only time he would ever tell me, and really the only time I could allow him to. He used to steal into my bedroom and crouch down, whisper it in my ear and then leave, and somehow I could never go to sleep until he'd done that. It took me years to convince myself that I didn't need him to sleep, and I never really managed a good day's rest until he came back.

6\. Do you remember when you asked me if Buffy could beat Spike? And I said that she could? Well, I wasn't really so sure. In fact, if I'd really thought about it, I'd have put money on him bathing in her blood just like he said he would. You underestimated him, Giles. I think everyone has all through his life. You made the same mistake I used to, confusing caring with weakness, and it nearly cost you your slayer. I have no doubt that Spike would have killed her if he hadn't been so busy trying to find the cure for Drusilla. But he let her illness distract him and by the time he was ready to focus on really killing Buffy, she was ready to take him. And now? Spike's trained with a small army of slayers, beat me in a fight and spars several times a week with an Old One that he manages to hold his own against. I don't know about you, but I'm glad he's on our side now.

7\. Cordelia wanted to know if I'd ever "done anything" with Spike. She said she couldn't blame me, since Spike was "frickin hot if you don't mind evil". I told her she needed to have her eyes checked if she thought Spike was anything but a skinny, mouthy runt. All you have to do is look at him to see that I lied. And while I still miss the sight of my William, all curls and big eyes, stretched out and waiting for me, I can't complain about the way he looks now. He's stunning, powerful and dangerous, a wet dream in leather and I love to watch the way men and women stare at him when we go out. As for the answer to Cordy's question, I told her I didn't do anything with Spike. And that wasn't a lie. I haven't done anything with him. I've done everything with him. Splitting hairs, I know, but still the truth.

8\. This is ~~one of~~ absolutely the worst. When you guys came through here after your fight against the First, Willow came up to my room. She said that Buffy was taking Spike's death hard, and it was pretty obvious that she thought I might be too. I said I hadn't felt him pass. I told her it was for the best that he was gone... that everyone would be better off without him. She should've hit me for that, but she just gave me a hurt look and left. I know she meant well, but there was no way she could ever understand what it was like for me. I felt him die, like a fire inside me and then there was just nothing. To understand what nothing is like for us, you have to realize that from the time a vampire rises, they always have a connection to their maker, and that as we make others and exchange blood, we create more bonds. And whenever someone you have a connection with dies, you know. Usually only sires can feel a death, but I had taken over as Spike's sire and exchanged enough blood with him that I felt it too. It hurt, but the emptiness of not feeling him anymore was worse. If I'd tried to tell Willow about it, she would've wanted to hug me and tell me that it would be okay, and I couldn't take that. So I lied to her and sent her back to Buffy to do her comforting, and I did my own grieving in private with a bottle of whiskey and a hell of a lot of tears.

9\. When he first showed up here, I told my friends he was nothing like me. They all called me on the lie later, though. Fred was the first and most vocal, but when even Gunn said he couldn't understand why I wouldn't just admit that Spike was "every bit as badass and scary" as me, I realized that the jig was up. My friends knew me too well to just accept the surface differences and look past the things we share underneath. I didn't listen to them, of course. Too proud to admit I might've been wrong about him and too frightened that if I did, I'd have to see the way he'd accepted his soul and demon both when I could embrace neither fully.

10\. Wes had suggested we bring Spike on board with a salary and apartment, and I refused. I said he was worthless, good only for being a punching bag. When we all needed to band together, I did my best to shut him out. I couldn't allow him to get close, couldn't risk Wolfram &amp; Hart destroying him, too. No, that's not the complete truth. I couldn't risk me destroying him. Not again. The problem was, he heard me say that, and I did it anyway.

 

Dear Giles,

Here's the stuff you wanted. I really didn't like having to do this, because it's freaky and just plain skeevy. I mean, who cares about what makes Spike purr? And even if you do, that's a pretty private thing and I really don't think it's fair to ask me to rat out my best friend like this. I told Spike all about it and he agrees with me that this is sick and you're twisted for asking about it, but he said I could give this to you as long as it's the very last thing ever.

Also, Angel says that if you threaten to cut off my tuition again, he'll pay for it and have Spike upload a video that Angelus made of you to YouTube. And then I'll tell Buffy about you making me spy on Spike and Angel. How do you think she'd feel about the Watcher's Council digging into her ex-boyfriends like that?

Love,  
Dawn

P.S. The bookstore raised the price on the Advanced Trig textbook, so I'm a little short for this month. Could you send me an extra fifty dollars or so?

Ten Things That Make Spike Purr  
(Supposedly for the Watcher's Council records)

1\. Presents - And Angel spoils him rotten. I mean, he has a PlayStation 3, and they're not even coming out until next Christmas! Not to mention a sportscar, cell phone, iPod and two laptops. Angel's pretty cute about giving them to him, too. He always gets everything wrapped in a big box and then hands it over at one of the company dinners so that everyone can see, as if Spike wouldn't walk around bragging about whatever he gets anyway.

2\. Hugs - I don't think he had a whole lot of affection when he was little, cause he always acts really surprised when someone hugs him, like he didn't think he was worth hugging or something. He usually starts complaining real loud and acts like he's trying to get away, but he's really slow about it and I can always feel him give me an extra squeeze before he actually lets go.

3\. Violence of just about any kind - Especially training with Angel or Illyria. He's usually all messed up and grinning afterwards, too. I think he might purr on patrol, but since they won't let me go, I don't know for sure. Would you tell them that I have weapons certifications in five disciplines and that they need to quit being mother hens?

4\. A really steamy episode of Desperate Housewives - Seriously, how lame can you get? I thought vampires were all about the blood and guts, not stupid soap operas! And he has absolutely no taste, either, cause he thinks Susan belongs with Mike, when any idiot can see that he doesn't really love her and besides, he's some kind of criminal, not to mention being a huge jerk as well. Okay, so I watch it with him sometimes.

5\. The sunlight in Angel's office - But you have to knock before you go in. I learned that one the hard way. And I still say it's not my fault. If someone had told me when I got here that Spike liked to sunbathe naked, I never would've gone in there like that!

6\. Angel's Irish whiskey - Although I don't know if it's really the whiskey or the game he plays with Angel that he likes most. Spike's always switching bottles and swiping the "good stuff", and then when he gets accused, he plays innocent but everyone can tell that he did it. He let me have some at my birthday party, but I don't see why anyone would ever want to drink that when they could have a strawberry margarita. Stop frowning, Giles. Angel said it was okay.

7\. _Phantom of the Opera_ and _Les Miserables_ \- He'll kill me if he finds out I put this on the list, but I know he listens to them when he can't sleep. Angel told me, and I've seen him a couple of times when I've been over studying. He puts headphones on, but you can hear some of the louder songs anyway.

8\. Reminiscing with Angel - I don't get to hear them do this much, since Angel doesn't like me to hear about when he was evil. But Spike tells me stories sometimes when it's just us, and I know they do it more often on their own.

9\. Arguing with Angel - And they do that a lot. Like, once a day or more. It kinda bothered me when I first got here cause it felt like when I used to hear Mom and Dad arguing, but then one day they were bickering and both of them were grinning, so I realized it's just one of the things they do. I kept score once, and Spike won, 285 to 276. He loved that and harped on it for about a week until we were all sick of it.

10\. Angel - That's the biggest one, really. They're so sweet together sometimes, and then there are other nights where you wonder why they haven't killed each other yet, but I know they really love each other. I think they'd do just about anything for the other. They're happy together (not too happy, don't get all Angelus-red-alert like I know you are), like they finally have something they've both wanted for a really long time.

  



End file.
